just writing and getting it out. not to worry.

"When you're broken

in a million little pieces

and you feel like you can't hold on anymore

every tear

falls down for a reason."

I need a break.

not just need, urgently require.

Do you ever need a break?

Do you ever need a break from this life so badly that you feel if you don't get one,

you heart and mind and body

will just give up without your consent.

you couldn't stop it.

Not even if you tried.

Ever so bad that you feel like...

the only thing you want to do is stare at a wall

with music playing in the background to distract your mind

from thinking or feeling the feelings it should be feeling.

just to make noise,

simply so you're not left alone with only your thoughts.

How can you have recieved all you ever wanted in life

and then all the sudden feel so alone in that life

that you would rather not be in it at all.

how? how and why?

how is that at all humain, and fair

how can you get to a point where you hate yourself,

because you feel like you may as well.

this life is too hard, is it this way for everyone?

or am i just a test subject in a sick game of voodoo doll

how many needles and pins can we stick her with?

just make me into a pin cushion why dont you.

I never wanted to be alone

I never wanted to feel alone in a room full of people.

have you ever felt that way?

if you have not I hope you never do.

I wonder when life decided to take it's time on testing my ability to carry the weight of the world, i'm not superman after all...