Danielle Marie Dudek, has moved on.

ummm hi! I'm new!

2011-05-03T14:58:00.002-06:00

A lot lot lot has happened,
in a short short short amount of time.

I'm new!
you will see what I mean, and I will update eventually on everything and how everything in unfolding but for now I just want to post something lovely before I lose it!

I am moving home to Michigan!
Alone.
Yes, it's okay to ask... I am getting a divorce.
and starting my life over.
I will be getting my own apartment/house, and decorating it to my hearts content.
I am sure among that time I will be spending a lot of time running as well. anyone to join?
I will be buying actual furniture pieces and I will someday want in my home...... long time down the road.

This table, is one of them.
From restoration hardware..... and I absolutely die over it.
I can't decide if I like this glass top option:

or the one I had originally seen, and fallen in love with.

which in a room would look like this...

I mean, I don't know how someone can't look at that and just think .... yep! I'll take it!

I will be saving my pennies lovies! everyone is welcome over for a housewarming!

home, can't leave.

2011-04-26T01:58:00.000-06:00

I am home in Michigan.
I have been for a week now.
I am leaving tomorrow evening and I am currently feeling literally sick to my stomach about it. I can't go back to Utah, I can't leave this place. I am home here, this place brings me to life. I miss everyone I love there, and my job and my friends, but I feel so safe here at home. I feel sick.

....not winning any parenting awards.

2011-04-17T18:20:00.000-06:00

I am crushed.

I am the worst mom ever.

I shut Mincey's tail in the door to the apartment today, and it was badly injured.
She has to get it amputated :( I cried and cried, I felt so terrible.
She didn't seem to put out about it, after she was done hissing at me that is. She hates me.
We took her to the ER for animals, and the surgery was so expensive I almost threw up. But her poor little tail looked like it was hanging by a thread. Oh my. She is there now and when we go pick her up she will have half the tail she had before. and a cone on her head.

featherstoobright.blogspot.com {coming soon}

2011-04-17T18:16:00.000-06:00

The reason I chose the name

{ feathers} {too} {bright}

is from my all time favorite movie.

The Shawshank Redemption.

"I have to remind my self that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. "

I have loved that all my life. I find that to adequately describe me. In the most humble way, I understand that I have always been a free spirit. It's just in my blood. so.. featherstoobright. it is. NOW i just need to find the most perfect picture for the header. Or rather take it.

Change your blog setting so when I finally make the switch you are all updated.

changing the name!!!

2011-04-15T02:02:00.000-06:00

Not quite yet but soon I will be changing the blog's name! SO while I know I don't have the most followers I wouldn't want anyone to not be able to find me.

As my blog is transitioning into something greater then just my day to day rants I have decided to maybe, just maybe try and make something of it! Wish me luck!

{featherstoobright.blogspot.com}

So just add it to your list, that way when I finally go for the change you will all be ready!
YAY!

quote of the day

2011-04-12T15:00:00.002-06:00

happy tuesday lovies!

pretty little things {urban outfitters}

2011-04-12T01:05:00.003-06:00

1. 2.

3.4.

5.6.

7.8.

9. 10.

1. Skeleton key bottle opener: $12.00
2. Filigree scroll vanity tray: $24.00
3. Round pintuck floor pillow: $49.00
4. Laboratory flower vases: $24.00
5. Linen dress form: $300.00
6. Keep calm and party: $14.00
7. Cake candelabra: $10.00
8. Ruffle laundry bag: $39.00
9. 4x6 stripped cabbage rose rug: $58.00
10. Industrial rolling side table: $190.00

Thankful for "my God"

2011-04-11T22:29:00.000-06:00

(warning: this is not a hate post, rather one about how i'm grateful. just read through)

This past weekend was General Conference weekend, for those of you who are not LDS it's a conference that takes place every six months where the general authority of the church speak to... well, the world. It is televised and it is also published in something called the Ensign a couple of months later so everyone who was not able to see it on TV can read it, I also think it is printed so that it can be kept as reminders and read over again if needed or desired. I am grateful for that fact that I was able to watch general conference with Tanner and his family.

Almost 4 years ago I was baptized into the LDS church, and I was introduced to a whole new world and a way to connect with God. I was happy with the religion for a long time, and it felt like I had found a part of my life I was looking for, but i was never truly happy inside. I struggled for a long time with wondering why. I didn't know if it was because I wasn't getting married, and everyone else was, or if it was because I wasn't doing as good as the Lord would have me to in life, meaning I wasn't being obedient enough and reading my pull potential that he has given me the possibility to obtain. I was unsure of so many things, and honestly and truly I felt very lost and alone.

In May of 2010 I had the amazing privilege of marrying the man I love in the Temple of The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I can't really explain the way I felt during that experience. I had been groomed for 3 years that this was right, this was the ultimate goal, and I did agree. I do agree. I think that to be married in the temple is an amazing blessing and an amazing experience. It is said to be a super spiritual place, and I believe that is true for some. For me however it was not a spiritual experience, as much as I was just SO excited to finally be marrying the man I had been dating for thee years. I couldn't wait! I didn't even listen while we were being sealed, I was far to excited. I thought there were parts that were very spiritual and others that I literally felt nothing. I know that everyone who reads this who is LDS will agree mostly that the first time they went that is also how they felt. I understand that understanding does come with time.

Over the last year of being married, growing, thinking, pondering, changing, a lot has in fact changed in my mine and heart. I have come to realize that the LDS church is not the place for me. I think it is a wonderful organization, that I was blessed to be a part of for such a time in my life. I was blessed to meet amazing people, and people whom have given me an example of how I choose to be as a person and a child of God. I do believe that Hevenly Father has a plan for everyone, and that there are some spirits that he created that are just in their own world, and have their own path. I believe that we are put on this earth to learn and to grow and to make mistakes, big ones, and to pick ourselves back up and to press forward. I have a strong faith that everyone in the world knows God in the way that they need to know God. I have a belief that at the end of all of this, all over the world people will see God. I believe that he will appear to all people and say bless you, and thank you for believing in something higher then yourself. I am everything. Now, come be with me.

I am aware that, my mindset may not fit into any specific religous sect and I am also fine with that. I have learned through my trials in trying to grow closer to God that my heavenly father is with me in my heart.

"I carry you're heart with me, I carry it in my heart."
- e.e. cummings

I believe in God in that way. I carry him in my heart. And to be honest my main goal is to be a good person, who helps people, and makes this world a brighter place in any way that I can figure out how.

So thank you to all those who have been a part of my life the last four years, thank you to my Tanner who has been an incredible example of a man, and a boyfriend, and a fiance, and now a husband. Who has treated me like gold, and has showed me what it feels like to be loved. And to have someone I can turn to who will keep me safe. Thank you for all your good examples. (jessica, abby, laur, liz, tawni, Mckall, Kesley) Thank you for your friendships, thank you for your work and dedication (cory) Thank you for helping me walk my broken road, which makes up the stronger me now when I was in 2007. I am so happy, and I finally feel like I have figured out who I am inside.

I love the Lord, and I know he loves me too. No matter what, he is there for me as my Father. I know my dad would never turn away from me, and he would never want me to live a life that made me feel trapped.

ADELE

2011-04-07T11:48:00.002-06:00

I'm gonna go ahead and say this girl is the most exciting piece of music that's come into my presence this month. at the budding age of 21 Adele is the newest follower of millions in both america and her home in the UK. get it girl!! I love it.

Album: bought.

globes

2011-04-07T11:08:00.001-06:00

lately, and by that i mean within the last four years i have really started to like globes. it's probably because tanner really likes globes, and until he pointed them out i took little interest in their purpose. the last time i played with a globe was in elementary school history class, when i loved my globe so much from school my mom and dad bought me one for christmas. ha ha.

but lately globes have taken on a new meaning for me, they are no longer just to be used to expand your mind, but to expand the gloriousness of your home! decorating with globes has become a new trend and i have to say, i'm on board.

via

i think it's official,

i'm starting my own collection.

i'm far too obsessed with the esthetics of this look, not to.

wish me luck!

15

2011-04-04T01:21:00.000-06:00

only 15 more days until i step foot on detroit pavement.

could i be more excited you ask? no. no i could not.
i can't wait to be sitting in my house, sitting with my girlfriends, talking about nothing, and thinking about nothing.

i hope it's warm.
let's pray for it, yeah?

stalking cupcakes & cashmere

2011-04-04T01:19:00.000-06:00

Lately i have been feeling very inspired. i'm not sure why, or what brought on this bout or random confidence but i have spent the last week or so browsing constantly looking at things that not only i can not afford but have no place for. i don't care, it's brought me happiness this week. yesterday began my most un favorite time, that every single woman on earth hates, once a month so this computer and my couch have become my two best friends. Amen.

a couple months ago i stumbled upon an AMAZING blog called {cupcakes & cashmere}
i have spent every day checking up on Emily and her new finds and amazing life. she is inspiring alone, i am jealous of her. so most everything on here is from her blog, no copy cats here. I credit her for all of the amazingly beautiful things you are about to see.

Things I {must have} for summer........

dead poets society

2011-04-03T01:53:00.000-06:00

walt whitman print

e.e. cummings pillowcase

emily dickinson print

mini collection of great poets

poe ID case

stumbled upon a new love

2011-04-02T18:22:00.001-06:00

I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes – 
I wonder if It weighs like Mine – 
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long – 
Or did it just begin – 
I could not tell the Date of Mine – 
It feels so old a pain – 

I wonder if it hurts to live – 
And if They have to try – 
And whether – could They choose between – 
It would not be – to die – 

I note that Some – gone patient long – 
At length, renew their smile –  
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil – 

I wonder if when Years have piled –  
Some Thousands – on the Harm –  
That hurt them early – such a lapse
Could give them any Balm –  

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve – 
Enlightened to a larger Pain –  
In Contrast with the Love –  

The Grieved – are many – I am told –  
There is the various Cause –  
Death – is but one – and comes but once –  
And only nails the eyes –  

There's Grief of Want – and grief of Cold –  
A sort they call "Despair" –  
There's Banishment from native Eyes – 
In sight of Native Air –  

And though I may not guess the kind –  
Correctly – yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary –  

To note the fashions – of the Cross –  
And how they're mostly worn –  
Still fascinated to presume
That Some – are like my own –

- Emily Dickenson

wouldn't mind {etsy} .....

2011-04-01T01:54:00.000-06:00

darling damask flask & money clip.

if nothing else, just for the cute display.

damask? really?! i adore.

open ended bangle cuff,

I've been craving one of these forever!

birds on a line collection

must have.

My Daddy

2011-03-30T12:12:00.001-06:00

To the most amazing man i've ever met.

with the biggest heart, lit by the biggest fire.

My father is my hero, and my best friend.

Over the years I have come to realize more and more every day that I am exactly like my Dad. He is the most sensative guy you will ever meet, who cries over TV commercials, and sends his daughters flowers... just so they know he was thinking about them. He writes the best letters, and if he wrote a book, it would be one I'd like to read. He is the hardest worker, who spent his entire life creating a wonderful life for his wife and children. My Dad spoiled us rotten and still does. he loves to. it brings his heart gladness. I have my Dad wrapped around my finger, as he has me around his. Every time I talk to him his sounds like he is about to cry, he says it's because he misses me. The truth is, I miss him more, and I spend days crying over it too. I am a lucky Daddys girl.

Momma

2011-03-30T11:59:00.000-06:00

To the lady who taught me to be an upstanding women.

to be who I am, and to always own up to the choices you make.

"Nobody makes you do anything, Danielle. You make you're own choices, and you make your life from those. They can be good, bad, scary but whatever they are make sure you make them for you"

My mother Cameila Dudek is an inspiration to my life. we are completely different people, and have always known it. My mother taught me growing up lessons every single day that I of course never realized until this year. She taught me how to read and write, using rice and pudding. She taught me how to write by making me write sentences, when I would do something bad! She taught me how to stand up for myself, and how to say no. She taught me how to say yes, and how to help others in need. She taught me that you can always come home again. She taught me that if you need to run away, you can do that too. She taught me what real love is, by doing nothing but "showing" it to be every single day. She never judged me, no matter how many times I said she did. She never turned her back on me, no matter how many times she should has. She always believed in me, when nobody else would. She always stood up for me, even when I was wrong. The problem I think parents have is trying to mold their children. I have learned from my upbringing that molding children does not work. What I choose to believe and plan to do with mine is to focus on loving them, they will mold themselves. They're children of God, they're people... who will become who they want to become by a series of choices, and mishaps and falls and scraped knee's throughout their lives that one day will have them standing with their head held high and a notion in their mine of "who I want to be." As long as you love them. I can't tell you the amount of times I came in a situation my parents didn't love. I drank, I partied, I skipped school, I spent their money without asking, I stole their money, I disappointed them, I surprised them, and they would yell, and they would get mad. But I don't remember a time where my parents ever ever told me I wasn't good. Not good enough. I was never said to be a bad girl, I was just "their" girl. They loved my mischief, they loved my spunky spirit, they still do and they are still there for the 2am phone calls that I often make (mostly because of the time difference) they roll over in bed, and pick up the phone and say.... "Danielle?" I remember the time I first felt a friendship connection with my Mom. it wasn't until I was around 21 years old, when she came to visit me out here in Salt Lake. We went to Vegas, and has SO much fun together. We didn't argue, or fight, we just had fun as mother and daughter. It was one of my favorite memories with my mother. Over the years I have learned I am just like my father, I am his personage in a female body. But then there are the parts of me that are just like my Mother. I'm sure upon reading this she will find these to be a surprise:

-I hate clutter

- I clean my house constantly, and love a well made bed.

- I can't stand when things are out of place (aka in the wrong drawer)

- I label things.

- I repeat myself in arguments.

- I plan, non stop.

When I was young I would hate how my mother labeled everything, and had everything organized, and how everything was so planned out. I do the same thing! It happens. One day we all wake up and realize we are exactly like our parents. Lucky for me I have the two best parents in the world. Who never focused on molding, they only loved. I think I turned out okay!

I love you Mom, you're amazing.

You inspire me to be a better women, wife, and mother.

I pray everyday to obtain your standard.

Love, you're baby.

wouldn't mind...

2011-03-22T02:32:00.000-06:00

1. Zara, three-tone stretch sandal {$99.00}

2. A new tattoo, on the side of ribcage or under the arm

3. Tiffany and Co, Paloma dove charm 18k rose gold {$425.00}

4. A darling little 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom bungalow in downtown Lake Orion for sale {$74,900}

5. Little jewelry box I found on esty.

6. The best friends a girl can ask for.

{these are a few of my favorite things}

2011-03-17T00:48:00.000-06:00

Danielle McLean Photography

{POPPY}

2011-03-14T16:34:00.000-06:00

I am and have always been one for the warmer months, it makes my heart double in size the day the temp hits 60 again, and I immediately start planning my summer outfits, searching amazing sunglasses online, not to mention swimming suites! I can't even begin to list the things I am loving at the moment, since my list seems to grow and grow (do you think i'm getting selfish?) I will admit, I have never been one for Coach. In Rochester Hills, Mich. where I grew up Coach was somewhat of a status marker. Everyone and I do mean everyone had a coach bag. I remember being in 7th grade and seeing my friends carry them around. I begged for one for Christmas simply so I could "fit in" and was always denied. My parents never believed in "designer" things. I strongly disagree, still to this day. In essence everyone had a Coach purse, Backpack, planner, something with those little CCC's plastered all over it. As I grew up the brand became a little gawty to me, and I was glad I never got one for myself. However in the recent years Coach has managed to catch my attention more then a time or two and I must say their new "POPPY" collection is absolutely to die for.

I'm partial to the pink and the black one ^above but they are all so beautiful and springish feeling. I wouldn't mind one bit having one of these beauties on my arm along with a flowing dress, and a chunky wedge sandal. yes please!

It's March.

which means i'm ready for spring.

We live in Salt Lake City, Utah and this year the groundhog didn't see it's shadow!

We have been lucky to have a very mild winter this year, I say lucky because I hate cold weather.

Sadly my snowboard was ridden just one time this year, and yes that is a tragedy. I spent hundreds on a whole new set up, only to take it up once. It was worth it, we had an amazing day at the canyons a couple saturdays back. Thanks to our friends over at Moxie Pest Control for giving up an opportunity we wouldn't have had otherwise!

I am so excited for this spring and summer because I will be spending it in sunny California, my life long dream comes true. I will be walking around day in and day out but i will have some downtime every weekend and hopefully wont be too tired to take full advantage. I plan on these things gracing my life during that time...

Then there's the ever gorwing list of TOMS i just {must} have

these black sparkly toms were gifted to me by my wonderful hubby for my 24th :)

Happy Spring everyone!

Chocolate Truffles

2011-03-14T12:23:00.002-06:00

Ever since I was a little girl I have had an unquenchable sweet tooth. We parted ways for a time in high school, unsure why. Since I have moved away from home and began fending for myself (buying my own groceries) it has worsened 10 fold. I'm not necessarily upset, but my waistline usually is. I feel like diving into a carton of double fudge brownie half churned ice cream is a right I have as a women. I also feel that way about chocolate truffles. Most every time I walk past a chocolate shop in the mall, or a stand someone I buy at least one truffle. When I was at school at the business college, they sold Utah truffles in the book store. I bought more of those in one semester then I care to admit. I came across this post on cupcakes & cashmere and just had to post it, for my few but loyal readers. She has thousands including myself, her blog is absolutely amazing!

With the orange and black sprinkles they tend to be more for halloween time, but change it to your favorite decoration for an everyday master piece! I intend on making these as soon as I have a spare moment, I hope you do too!

Ingredients

Ganache:

8 ounces (1 1/2 cups) bittersweet (60 percentcacao) chocolate chips (recommended: Ghiradelli)
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 cups (12 ounces) bittersweet (60 percent cacao) chocolate chips (recommended: Ghiradelli)

Toppings:

1 cup finely chopped nuts, such as pistachios or walnuts
1 cup mini-chocolate chips
3 (1.4-ounce) milk chocolate-toffee candy bars, such as Heath or Skor, finely chopped
Special equipment: 18 (4-inch) wooden pop sticks, a 1-ouncecookie scoop

Directions

For the ganache: Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. In a medium stainless steel or glass bowl, combine the chocolate chips and heavy cream. Set the bowl over a saucepan of barely simmering water and stir occasionally until the chocolate has melted and the mixture is smooth, about 6 minutes. Whisk in the cinnamon. Refrigerate the ganache until very firm, about 2 hours. Using a 1-ounce cookie scoop or a round tablespoon measure, scoop the ganache into 18 (1-inch) round pieces and arrange on the prepared baking sheet. Working quickly, with dry hands, roll the mixture into balls. Put a pop stick into each ball and freeze, stick side up, until firm, about 30 minutes.

Add the 2 cups of chocolate chips to a medium stainless steel or glass bowl. Set the bowl over a saucepan of barely simmering water and stir occasionally until the chocolate has melted, about 4 minutes.

Put the chopped nuts, mini-chocolate chips and chopped candybars in 3 small bowls.

Dip the pops in the melted chocolate, allowing the excess chocolate to drip off, and then dip into the toppings until coated. Arrange the pops, stick side up, on the baking sheet. Refrigerate for 30 minutes until the chocolate has set. Let the pops stand at room temperature for 15 minutes before serving.

Store the pops, refrigerated, in an airtight container.

Cook's Note: If the scooped ganache is too sticky to roll into balls, put the pan in the freezer for 10 to 15 minutes to harden.

brighten up your day with..

2011-03-14T01:41:00.001-06:00

via

Lately I have been obsessing over banners and garlands, I think this one however is much more beautiful then the rest. I think this will be on my wish list. It can be bought here. I think it would be beautiful above a bed, or even in a childs room. So pretty, and light and feminine. I fear my husband secretly hates living under my room, but he loves me. SO that makes up for it right!

exciting things on my mind, along with sad things.

2011-03-10T22:55:00.004-07:00

First thing that is exciting to me is:
I'm going home!!!
April 19th through the 26th I will be sowing my oats in my most favorite place on earth. Rochester Hills Michigan.
To me one of the prettiest places in the world, I think because everything I remember in my life dwells there. {Your Roots} are a mythological thing that hold you to who you are. Where you came from will be built within you for all of your life. It wont change. It's beautiful. I hope everyone loves who there are, because of where they came from; as much as I do. It kills me how much I love it there. I wish a lot, everyday that I could be there for the rest of my life, but the chances are unlikely. A girl can dream, and dream I will. Everyday until I die.

Second, my beautiful niece Kaylee turned 1 yesterday! She is such a blessing in our lives. We have learned so much from having her in our family about God's love for us. Only someone more supreme then ourselves could have created something so beautiful and perfect, as Kaylee. She is a doll. Happy Birthday little bug.

Third, I am so proud of my amazingly beautiful friends, for who they have become. I have been thinking a lot lately about how grateful I am for them, and how much they mean to me. Growing up those girls were my family. We were closer then any group of people I have ever met. All of them have achieved their dreams, because of their determination and drive for success. I am lucky to be a part of such a motivating bunch. Who not only are POSITIVE influences on me, but support me in any path I choose to take.

The sad thing is that I miss home. That's all.

Delicious.

2011-03-07T00:36:00.002-07:00

Carrot cake woopie pies

via

1 1/8 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, softened
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons packed light brown sugar
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup coarsely grated carrots (2 medium)
1/2 cup raisins (2 1/2 ounces)
8 ounces cream cheese
1/4 cup honey

Put oven racks in upper and lower thirds of oven and preheat oven to 375°F.

Whisk together flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.

Beat together butter, sugars, egg, and vanilla in a bowl with an electric mixer at medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Mix in carrots and raisins at low speed, then add flour mixture and beat until just combined.

Chill dough in freezer for 15 minutes.

Drop 1 tablespoon batter per cookie 2 inches apart on silplat mats and bake on baking sheets, switching position of sheets halfway through baking, until cookies are lightly browned and springy to the touch, 12 to 16 minutes total. Cool cookies on sheets on racks 1 minute, then transfer cookies to racks to cool completely.

While cookies are baking, blend cream cheese and honey in a food processor until smooth.

Sandwich flat sides of cookies together with a generous tablespoon of cream cheese filling in between. These are good the first night, but if you store in an airtight container, they get amazingly moist and whoopie pie like on the second night.

[ pretty safe to say i'll be trying these out asap. I loveeeeeee carrot cake! happy cooking lovies!]

dont have's. do you?

2011-03-05T13:16:00.004-07:00

Sadly, but not surprisingly...I have nothing new to blog about.

I want to see the movie The Kings Speech.
Anyone else?
It looks amazing, along with the fighter, and all those movies that were up for an academy award this year. I love movies.

I want lots of money, so i can make my home feel bright. Drapes, decor. whatever I can think of.
Please???

I wish we were in California right now.
Anyone want to go?

um.....
I need a new camera, lens, motivation, photoshop, then maybe I can portray how much I actually love my life.

My husband is taking a nap. He looks awful beautiful. it hurts my heart to watch him sleep sometimes. Anyone ever feel that way?

This little girl is turning 1

I don't understand where the time went! There is a video on my sister-in-law's blog of Kaylee walking for some of her first attempts. it is possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life.
I feel so lucky to be an auntie.
Have you ever been an Auntie? and loved your neice so much it hurt?

Work is really starting to ware me down,
not sure why. I love serving, and I loving my job. ALL my friends are there, so in reality when I go to work all I really do is get to hang out with my friends, and give people food. But for some reason lately the hours and running, and yes ma'am, of course, what else can I get for you? are getting dull, I think it's time we depart for moxie

MOXIE!
California!
NEW!

I am excited for this new phase in my life, trying something I have never done before. Going and LIVING somewhere I have only been for 5 days (honeymoon) and getting out of UTAH. Ick. I'm struggling with utah lately.
and craving Michigan.

Holler if ya hear me!?

Drapes I want...

other beautiful things...

If this was my bedroom, i'd live in that room, cook in that room, work from that room.
I seem to be obsessed with "aquamarine" lately.

xoxo,
us.

dreams of designing that are driving me CRAZY

2011-02-28T15:17:00.002-07:00

I have an addiction.
to all things beautiful.
i don't mind it much in fact i absolutely love it, the only problem with this is that i don't have near enough money to sattisfy my ever growing need for plush wondrous items in my home. so far i have bought none of them, thankfully. but my first to do project was supposed to be my bedroom. i can't figure out how i want it! i don't know if i want neutral colors or bold, simple patterns or lavish, white furniture or black/brown. i am totally lost. totes mcgoats.

thinking.......

definitly paired with this...

but then i see.....

it's all just a mess.

news:
WE tanner and danielle mclean are moving............
to CALIFORNIA!
just for the sum sum, don't worry.
the cost of living in CA is far to high to ever be imagined in my budget as of now, even though you make more. hmmm maybe after spending the summer there i can convince tanner to actually move there for good. what do you think? probably not, but it's worth dreaming about.

conclusion:
i shall wait to decorate my home until we are back from living it up aka working out butts off in Cali this summer. hopefully when we get back from the summer we will be moving downtown, so i can be closer to both work and school which will give us full use of our car. we have two cars, but tanners isn't in the best shape nor is it registered ha ha woops. so he drives my car to work while i take tracks downtown. i can't wait to move to a little apartment in downtown with hopefully much better light and then i can let my imagination take control. oh how beautiul it will be.

Proud. and missing it.

2011-02-28T10:16:00.001-07:00

Imported From Detroit.

Now, I wont act like I'm from there.

I wont act like i'm rough and touch and that I know anything about the ghetto,

about Detroit City and I wont act like I grew up near 8 mile. I will tell you my parents did.

And even more so my grand parents and their parents. My family is born and bread Detroit.

My great grand parents came to Detroit from the old country.all of Syria, and Poland, and Belgium.

They came to Detroit looking for better, and they found it.

As the commercial says what does a city that's been to hell and back know about the finer things?

Detroit used to be a city for the wealthy, a city made of gold. It was the place the rich went on sundays to shop and dine. My grandmother tells me stories about having to get dressed in her best dress, so her mother could take her to Hudsons department store (which i'm sure none of you know what that is. Hudsons was bought out by Marshall Fields, then by Maceys) so she could pick out a doll, or a dress, or just to have a day where they felt like they had something. My mother's side of the family was weathly. My grand-pa owned a grocery story, and during the depression while alcohol was illegal my great grandfather brewed it in the basement of his grocery store. My other great grand-pa did the same, just in the basement of his shoe store. He hid the money in the walls of their house. Detroit was a place to see. it was home to many famous movie stars.

My entire life I grew up on the outskirts of Detroit, about 45 minutes north of the City. My parents would tell me stories about their childhood there, and how the place they used to live is now so dangerous that they have not been back in years to look at their home. I am a product of humble beginnings, that with hard work became a success they had never dreamed. I am thankful. I am blessed. I am enlightened, to have seen the outside world as I grew up. I love going back to Michigan more then anyone can imagine. I love that place more then any place on earth. I is my roots, it is my home. I am missing it, as you can tell.

I want my kids to have little tigers hats, I want them to go there and to see it. I want them to understand how amazing a place Michigan is. I want them to live there their entire lives like I did, but I know this will never happen.

This commercial gives me the chills every time. Tanner thinks i'm weird. But he doesn't understand. Being from Utah is different. I came from a place that time and time again has broken down and built it's self back up. It's a place that understand hardship, and learns how to pick your chin up and carry on. Michigan right now has one of the largest, if not THE highest unemployment rates in the entire country. We will carry on. We always do, and if anyone ever asked me where i'm from i'd proudly say.

IMPORTED FROM DETROIT.

2011, i trust you.

2011-02-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's a new year friends.
Things are starting, changing, happening, growing.

2010 was an absolutely crazy year! what was the most exciting thing that happened in twenty ten well i'm sure you can guess that!

WE GOT MARRIED!!! and surprise surprise, we still are!
I only say that because being married to me has to be one of the hardest tasks you can take on ;) seriously.

I am not good at breakdowns,
wish I was. Sorry i'm not. But I can try.

Jan '10- Tanner and I had just gotten back together after a small break and I was anxiously awaiting a ring. HA HA. We played with friends and celebrated a happy new year! I started a job in Park City, which quickly ended BUT I got to see why I love that place so much and have decided that when we buy and build that will be the place!

Feb '10- First and foremost I turned 23! and boy was I excited. As I quickly approach 24, i'm more excited. We went to St. George with Chet and Jory and had a blasty blast! I bought a pair of TOMS, and in doing so donated a pair of shoes to a child in need! Celebrated our 3rd Valentines day!

Dec- MI, MT, UT
Nov- mae, celebrated our 3 year's of dating
Oct- molly engaged, got Mincey, nightmare before christmas for halloween,
Sept- Christal came to town, yellowstone,
Aug- MI wedding!!!!
July- 4th celebrations,
June- not much but summer fun, work, and more work
May- wedding, honeymoon, first time in california,
Apr- PF Changs, New apartment, wedding planning
March- Engaged!!!!! That's all I can recall

3 weeks later....

2011-02-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

3 weeks, 25800615 coughs, one patient husband, 24 (at least) pomagranet popcicles, one urgent are visit, one far too expensive doc. office fee, three medications, over 65 dollars for those perscriptions........

I am finally on my way to health yet again. As if I am ever healthy, lets be honest here. I am almost positive I have been sick more times in the three and a half years I have lived here then I had in the 20 before that. Super!!

diagnosis (sp?): pneumonia.
cause: inversion. That's all, literally.

I have spent the last three weeks of my life anduring sleepless nights to every extent of the word to wake up in the morning and go serve the lovely people of Salt Lake at my most favorite job, and it has really made me a happier human being. I ant explain it, and I am sure at one point I will look back and wink up at heavenly father and say you little trickster you ;) at one point I honestly looked up (like I did when I was a little girl) and asked him, are you testing me? How can I pass?please, I must sleep. Amen.

I am blessed to have the most amazing parents in the world. They are imperfect and raised and imperfect child but they are the wonders of my world... And I am proud to be a product of their views and values. I alled them and begged to help me pay for the doctor visit, they did. Of ourse. And just in time. Anyway- the doc. Perscribed a steroid, and anti biotic and a sleep aid. I was terrifyed to take any of these. They scared me, but I did. I started the antibiotic yesterday but skipped the sleep aid in fear that I would have some crazy ambien trip and start yelling random nothingness at Tanmer. BUT this morning I took the steriod, all 4 pills at once. Yikes! It said on the bottle may cause you to feel wired and dizzy, lack of sleep... Bla bla bla. Well this afternoon I quite literally felt like I was on speed. I was an embarrassment at work. High as a kite. Now it is 6am and I am still awakr, blogging. I have not slept in weeks and here I am now feeling much better but alas, I am still not into slumber. Boo! ALSO I did take the sleep aid tonight, nothin' doin'. Excellent!

The entire reason for this blog post being my need to state how lucky I am. Tanner has been THE biggest trooper. He started work this past week so he has been getting up early at 7 to get there by 830. He couldn't have been getting much sleep considering my loud coughs probably woke up half our complex, and I also know this because he was constantly rubbing my back as I sat up all night long.

love you.

not so interesting, me.

2011-02-24T20:19:00.002-07:00

- I turn the tab on everything I open to the right- example, a soda can. i do it every time, even if i open a soda and poor it in a glass, i always turn the tab. i'm not sure how this started, it's just a little habit.
- I only will eat a hamburger if it's from McDonalds- All others gross me out to the utmost. ew.
- I talk to my grandma on the phone every single day- i call her every night to tell her goodnight and that i love her. ever since i moved to utah it's been my tradition. she is my best friend in the world.
-I don't drink while I eat- Everyone thinks i'm weird, and I just never noticed. I just am not thirsty while eating, it' after I have finished a meal or a snack or anything that I get thirsty. So my drink is always readily available!
-I eat things one at a time, and none of my food can touch- If I get a hamburger and fries(from McDonalds) I eat the fries, then the burger. At Thanksgiving dinner, none of my food can touch.
- the first book i EVER read cover to cover, in my life was the book of mormon- the second and third and fourth were the twilight saga, that's as far as i've come. mind you, i was 21 when i first read the book of mormon cover to cover. sad.
- I have changed my intended college major 4 times- yes i do literally mean changed. i started college as a special education major, then changed to graphic design, then to photography, and now interior design also. i'm still only done with one semester of college entirely. one day i'll get there!
- I would give anything in the world to be on a show like glee- i have loved to sing my entire life, i have been told i'm really good. but i have the worst stage fright you will ever see.
- I am super super weird when it comes to money- example, i'm a server so say i make 100 dollars on a night shift. I like to tip out the bar tenders and back waiters with money i made from a shift the night before, that way i don't feel like i'm using the money i just worked so hard for. even though it's all the same. OR if i'm getting change for one of my tables, i always get it from the bar tender in stead of using the money i may have in my server book. again all from and goes to the same place. OR if we're buying someone i like to use my debit card rathe then cash.
- I hate having water on me after getting out of the shower- i have to have my hair in a towel, and be dried off completely. also, if it's a cold surface i walk out onto after (tile) I have to walk on my tippy toes until i get to carpet.
- about two months ago i developed this insane ocd about cleaning- i have never been a neat freak, in fact i have always been the farthest thing from it but as of late i am absolutely compulsive about my apartment, and car being spotless. no i'm not pregnant, i just must have finally flipped a maturity switch i have always been missing.
- I cry about everything- weather it be a TV commercial, a song, a thought, a memory I am the biggest sap you will ever meet.
- I must blog, journal, talk, jabber, vent, gossip- i'm what my parents called a talker, i talk and talk and talk. sometimes i ever talk to myself in the shower? what? i have to get things out, tell people, talk about things, express my emotions on things, events, people or else i feel like i'm going to explode.
- I have the longest list of hopes and dreams you will ever encounter- I do. it's kind of fun to think about, sad to think that i have accomplished hardly none of them.
- I would travel the world with a backpack and some sandals eating nutella off a spoon- i would die to go see everything this world has to offer. we only live for such a short time, and i believe in that time we should take advantage. God built this amazing world for us. some of us are lucky enough to live in those places that us americans dream about. then us americans are lucky enough to be born here. either way we're all blessed to have what we have. I just wish I could see what everyone else see's everyday, too.
- my father, is me- i am an exact clone of the man, aside from size. we think the same, talk the same, act the same. i don't know how it happened but if i look at my sister and i, i can tell who is like who. she is just like my mother. it's fun to see those dynamics in a family. try it out!

.....more will come.

Who has a new sign?

2011-02-15T02:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what happened, I don't know when this occurred however all the sudden I am apparently a Capricorn? I don't agree, and I was always an aquarius which fits me PERFECTLY. Personally I think horoscopes are fascinating. I read them, often. I believe them, often. I don't know everyone else's opinions on these but I believe the universe has effects on us as human beings and I don't know how else to explain the fact that my sign description fits me to a T, other then.... it just works. Anyway, now i'm rambling. I came across these little beauties tonight and I fell deeply in love.

Astrology Necklaces

in 18ct rose gold, and all it's glory.

Well, a little late for my birthday about 3 days late in fact but I suppose I can find a reason for this to come into my posession.

Enjoy!

Thank you, comcast.

2011-02-15T02:33:00.000-07:00

Thanks to me finally deciding I couldn't take it anymore, we have ^ again!

Does anyone know what this means?!

Dani blogging returns! I'M BACK!!!!!

My favorite day of the entire year.

2011-02-12T02:54:00.001-07:00

[24]

It's my birthday!

Everyone knows I am absolutely obsessed with my birthday. I don't know if this makes me shallow and I really don't care, everyone has their favorite holiday and personally if someone doesn't prefer the one that is centered around them... I think their crazy!! My birthday has started out amazing. Yesterday I hung out with one of my favorite people on the planet miss Dani Debenham. We had a fabulous time as always. Her and her husband Ryan have just finished building their first home in Park City and it is absolutely amazing! We did a little cleaning and then went to the Volcom outlet to get me some birthday presents! Yay, did I ever.

I got home and I was told to wait!

I had two surprises already! A card from Mincey! Even with a paw print :)

I am meeting the girls for breakfast tomorrow around 11! I am so excited about that and then the rest of the night should be filled with just as much fun! I'll post soon!

no internet.

2011-01-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

We don't have internet right now.
This would explain my lack of obsession with both blogging and facebook. Tragic, on both accounts. I would like to tell you that very soon I will be returning and ranting about my daily life but I don't know that I can promise that. Ever since Comcast up'd our bill to about 2x the amount we have been iffy on these companies and are scared to get into any other contracts or non contracts alike. we check out clear but didn't get great reception in the apartment. We will probably end up just going a Comcast 6 month plan or something like that soon enough. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Not that a ton is going on to blog about, but I just find it to be soo much fun! Tanner Dad is in town this week, they are moving back here! And he has to come in for business now pretty often so we are going out to dinner with him tonight. My mom sent me my Juicy key necklace that just to happened to have dissapeared when I was at home for our second reception in Aug. Not sure were it went................ even though I am sure where it went and I don't even care anymore i'm just so glad to have it back. AND right in time for my BIRTHDAY! Which is coming up in just over two weeks. I am not sure how I feel about being 24. Wait..... who am I kidding I'M STOKED!

I recently took some save the date's for a friend from work!

IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN PHOTO SHOOTS LET ME KNOW!

thats all i got!
I'll be back soon with a better lens and more interesting stories. PROMISE!

nifty!

2011-01-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

Look what I came across today while stalking [ design*sponge]

Are you kidding me with the cuteness?

a flash drive in the shape of a key? I died.

Most know I have had a severe obsession with keys ever since I was a wee child. My parents were antique collectors and everything they owned had old keys to them. I would steal those and hide them in my room when I was little and get in so much trouble!

Anyway my birthday is fast approaching and among the other 2000 things I desire that is one of them!

At home in michigan....

2010-12-21T22:57:00.001-07:00

From he second I walk into my parents house the annoyance and irritability begins, i'm just being honest. My parents at times are the single most clueless people on earth. Both of them in their own sense bring oblivious to a whole new level. Lately however, my father just has become grouchy.. and bossy or maybe it's just because i'm in town to push all his buttons ;) For instance, today he is sitting in the kitchen, Tanner, mom and I are in the living room watching a movie. Dad says "can someone come let Billy out (my dog). The man is three feet from the back door and is asking one of us that is clear in another room to come let out the dog. I say Dad, why don't you do it you're sitting right there. He responds quite pissed by saying. I'M COOKING. oh, ok got it. So you can't stand up off the rolling chair that you have parked yourself on... to let out a dog the side of a pot roast? No worries, i'll do it. There is more but i'm starting to sound borderline bitter (which i'm not) so I'll refrain BUT the reason for this post, is to describe a effortlessly hilarious quote by my mother.

The TV isn't working. We have Comcast. She forget's it's 2010, and thinks every time she wants to change the channel she has to change it by pressing each number. She does this and the entire setup is now jacked. SO she stumbles upon a classic piece of cinema, not sure of the name. However her words were exactly this.

"Oh great, the TV's broke and there's a lesbian show on."

more to come on the everyday changing awkwardness in which I call the Dudek home.

My favorite holiday? yes.

2010-12-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

ROCKIN' AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE, HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY!

I love it! I can't wait for Christmas!

borders. Thanks!

2010-11-24T01:45:00.002-07:00

So, it's a long story and I don't really feel like talking about it. but ....

Did you know you can get internet signal, outside of borders?!! excellent!
I am currently. I just wanted to give borders a big humongo shout out.

LOVE YA!

I have been tagged :)

2010-11-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

Cute darling little Jenny Wilcox tagged me in this fun game. I never do these because I think I share enough of my life willingly that there is literally no way that people could want to hear anything more about me.. but since she asked! ha ha

GAME ON!

1. What is your ALL time favorite song and why? Easy peasy, my all time favorite song is "breathe me" by Sia. I found this song when I was 18, while watching an episode of six feet under. An old HBO tv show. It was the last scene of the series finale and it was simply the most moving piece of television I had ever seen. Since that time, that song has been somewhat of a go to in my life. It is mostly played in my moments of sadness, which over the years have been many, but ever once in a while even on a happy day I listen to it, just to take myself back to that sadness, and to remember to be grateful for the happy moments which shower my life. I have started before that some times I just LOVE being sad, and I mean heart breaking sad. This is the song I want to be played at my funeral.. I don't care if we don't do that in the church. Someone please bring an ihome and blast this by my casket? A bit morbid but I'm just being real. Thank you! Anyway, look it up. and think of the saddest time ever and just let the tears flow! You wont regret it :)

2. What was the most memorable part of your wedding day and or first date if you are not married yet? Well friends, I hope this isn't TMI and if it is.. I guess I'm sorry.. I guess. To be totally honest the most memorable part of my wedding day was after Tanner and I left our reception, and went to the downtown Marriot city center hotel. We're married.. so obviously you know what happened then but we didn't want to to be like every thing revolved around the fact that we could now have sex. It's very special and sacred. A shower was first and that was the most memorable part to me. I'm not going into detail, there's no need but it wasn't until that moment that it really hit me that I was his forever. That we were sealed for eternity! I can't explain that feeling. Throughout all the chaos of a wedding day you almost forget what took place at the beginning of that day and that is that you are now MARRIED! Like, for real life you're a wife, and that guy that you have been ogling for the past however many months (or years, all three of em... thanks honey he he) day dreaming about... is now your husband! it's insane! When it hits you, don't forget that moment. Again, i'm sorry if it's TMI. I think it's pretty PG-13 though.

3. What do you want to be when you grow up? Hooray, I love this question. I used to dream about that day when I as all grown up and could finally answer this. Well i'm approaching my 24th birthday here in a couple months and I still feel like I can't answer this question. Well, wait.. I can.. but I still don't feel like a grown up. I am going to school to be an interior designer. However, I am actually a professional photographer. I am going to get a degree in Interior Design that way I will actually have someone to show for my life other then I taught myself my absolute dream job, but I do plan (in a year or so) so start trying to have kiddies. There is no better job for a stay at home mom then a photographer. And I happened to have been absolutely obsessed with photography since I was about a sophomore in high school. My main goal in this life is to be a good mother. I can not wait! But as a mom I want to provide for my family, while spending as much time as possible raising my children to love life and who they are. AKA photographer!

4. Why do you blog? OMG! I blog because i'm obsessed. I have always been a writter. I write. I vent, I talk, I scream, I talk, I talk, I chat, I talk. Blogging gives me the ability to do all of this! I can't say that I do it to update because everyone that reads my blog is mostly from UT.. blogging isn't really big in MI yet no none of my friends or family ever tune in. I blog because it feels so good to have the pages of my diary online for everyone to see. Also, I wish someone would sit at home and be totally honest with their feelings like I am so that when I'm in a moment of crisis I could read that someone else has been there, and it's ok. Or share their happiness. I also blog because I love to see everyones happiness! I'm so excited for everyone all the time!!!

5. What is your favorite attribute about yourself and why? My honest to goodness ability to love life, and just take it as it comes. Tanner says I have an attitude, and he's right. I do. My attitude is I am who I am, I've gone through a lot to be this girl. If you don't like it, well then I'm sorry! You don't have to like me, or what I believe or who I am. I still like you! And I hope you're life is filled with as much adventure as mine, it's way too fun!

6. What's on your Christmas list this year? Peace on earth. (at least if that's my answer none of you will know that I'm a total brat and want presents piled up to my roof. I'm sorry, it's just who I am.)

7. What is your "signature drink"? Tough call, but it's a tie between diet cranberry lime-aid from sonic, (summer) and a hot chai tea from beans and brews (every other time). So stinking good. It's like a vanilla pumpkin, sprinkled with cinnamon in a cup. UNREAL!

ok ok, I tag... Heather, Jessica, and Laur

couple things.

2010-11-18T02:51:00.000-07:00

As many of you are aware......

So excited, I think I may pass out.

Secondly,

Went snowboarding today. Dani and I went up to brighton and hiked and it was great! I hurt my beautiful board, what a fool I am. I can only chase a snowboard that is hauling down a mountain so far before I fall into a snowbank and give up. As my brand now board was speeding down the hill I see it heading for an electrical box, and naturally it slams into the corner dead on? What are they chances, about a billion to one. But of course it happened to me. Excellent. The good news is I took it over to the repair shop at brighton and they said they could fix it for 10 bucks! Not the deal that would normally be given out but thanks to Dani I am all fixed up and ready to ride again! It was an amazing day!

Thirdly,

I have had the best music days after the past couple days. I have been listening to that music I described in my last post, the stuff that makes you remember the moments when life felt unbareable. It was amazing. Allow me to give you my list: (artist, title)

Amazing Music, do it.

M83- too late

Sia- breathe me

Lorene Drive- for the rest of us

Glee Cast- smile

Imogen Heap- hide and seak

Ryan Adams- wonderwall

Allred- without warning

Barcelona- come back when you can

Joseph Arthur- in the sun

Sufijan Stevens- for the windows in paradise

Number One Gun- the best of you and me

Imogen Heap- speeding cars

and not a sad song, but an amazing song nonetheless..

Mr. Big- to be with you.

nobody reads. but this is one big ramble.

2010-11-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that nobody reads my blog.

I write anyway, all the time? I wonder why I do this. I do it because I need to write, if I don't write everything that comes into my head I think it may explode. I am one of those type of people. I have to let everything out. Many many times a day in fact. I have to call my very best friends all the way across the country and cry my eyes out. or scream, or talk crap about myself because it feels good. I am a different person. I have come to realize that I am entirely emotionally driven. My entire life, all my choices, all my thoughts, all my theories. I am sitting here currently listening to the saddest songs on my itunes, over and over and over. I love to sit and be sad. I love to sit and think about a time when I was extremely sad, I love the emotion you feel. Emotion like that is fleeting and rare, emotion is something we take for granted as humans. We always seek happiness, don't get me wrong I wish more then anything I could have happiness all the time. However, when you are in a time where you feel like your world is all the sudden a blur and you hate everything about your thoughts, and everything about your heart...you will feel a type of emotion that comes only to those who are honest enough with themselves to feel the hurt. And it's bad. and it hurts, and life at that time is not worth it.

Hasn't anyone ever felt like that?!!

Come on people! I feel like everyone pretends their life is always happy. I'm bothered, i'm ornery, i'm grouncy.. I am sick of it. I am not happy, actually. I am sad, lately. I am not myself and I hate it. I am not in a place where I feel like I am brilliant, I am not in a stage where I feel like i have it all figured out. It hurts inside my chest. It hurts inside my head. I am not saying that anyone has to be like me, or may even want to be. I don't care, personally I think i'm a little bit crazy! I have to do it, I have to put it out there. I am not sure how people exist on earth keeping all their fear and anger and hope caged up in the chest. Im not sure how we all do it anyway. I'm not sure how we as people can survive this life, it's not an easy one. It's filled with decisions, big ones. It's filled with oh my gosh, and i'm scared.. it's filled with worry. Mine is at least. I blame my Dad. He is a worrier, he's also a writer of sorts, and an emotional driven man, whom by looking at him you would never guess it.

So here I am.
I'm Danielle, I go by Dani a lot. I am 23, almost 24 , feel like i'm 16 one day and 60 another. I feel like a lot of times I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I think that's because I love to hear people out, to hear about their sadness and hard times, and I love to try and help. Sometimes it makes me sick to think that I have accomplished so little with my life, when all my friends have degrees' and real jobs. I'm a server. it's simple and amazing. I hate it. but I absolutely love it. I love the people I work with, they don't know it. I am shy, but the most outgoing human being on earth. I share every single opinion that I have enter my mind. I would rather say something that may offend someone because I'm different then hold it up inside and pretend to be someone I'm not. I don't always agree with what I believe in, if you get what I'm saying.. you're not alone. I am constantly tearing my self apart and taking part in the biggest self loathing competition there ever was. I have such amazing friends, they live 2000 miles away. It makes me literally sick to my stomach to think of it. I have made so many mistakes I can write a what not to do book. I have learned from each and every one. Applying what I learned from there takes more work. I am depressed, but I don't show it on the outside, I don't dare burden people with my sadness. I love to be happy. I am happy a lot, even though I say I'm depressed. I am both. Can you be? I say yes. I don't like people who think they know everything or that their way is the only way. I don't like something that tells people you're not wonderful. I wish everyone would just be who they are. I wish I would be who I am. ALL the time. No matter who I'm around, where I am, I wish I could just sell me. and look amazingly beautiful and confident while doing it. I'm going to try. I like the fact that a lot of times utter sadness feels so good. I'm still working on me, working really hard. I am lost a lot, on roads and life. I'm danielle, I often go by Dani. My mom thinks I'm different, my dad says i'm unique. You probably all thought you knew me. Think again.

Opening Day at Brighton 11-11-2010 - Ski Utah - Ride Utah

2010-11-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

death is upon me

2010-11-12T02:28:00.000-07:00

If I don't make it through this I love you all.

It's been wonderful sharing my every thought with you over the last year or so.

I'm deathly ill.

(i'm also really dramatic, but still sick none the less)

I have no idea how this happened.

My husband isn't sick. John was sick the other night when he came over but I didn't get close enough to his face to catch it from him. My manager at work was sick but again, same scenario.

I don't understand!!

Curse adoption. Curse me not being breast fed and curse ye stupid meager immune system, I have forever lived my life with puffy eyes, and a runny nose all because of you. Not to mention a non stop cough. Gross! Who wants to live like that huh?

Well it matters none as of now beucase here I lay, wearing layers then ripping them off as I go through hold and cold chills, breathing through my mouth, and so much pressure in my head it feels like it's about to explode. My eyes are going to pop out.

I would love to get through a six month period where I don't contract some type of illness. I was just sick! not even a month ago. bla bla bla this is horrible.

Nothing else is really new.

Mincey is awesome.

Seriously, she is awesome.

She is the funniest cat in the entire world. She has recently taken up a new hobby.

Mauling and biting.

As of now the left side of my face is covered in small scratches, not to mention my eye lid.

She's a nut case!

She also has taken it upon herself to pee on our bed nearly every morning.

Ask me how I feel about that, I dare you. We went to target today to get a waterproof mattress protector.

34.99?! you've got to be kidding me.

and as for me and my slew of run on sentences,

i'm exhausted. I have probably slept a total of 6 hours in three days. The rest were spent sitting straight up with pillows against my back so that I wont start the plagued cough. Miserable, I tell ya!

We're heading to Montana for Thanksgiving.

I'm super excited!

Ok had enough of me for one day, I know I have!

Love you all!

My favorite John Allred Song. WE LOVE YOU JOHN!

2010-11-08T01:16:00.000-07:00

This is the story about a man, who was born to serenade the world.

2010-11-08T01:10:00.000-07:00

In the winter of 2008 Tanner met a guy.

A simple, humble guy named John.

He told me of John and that he was a musician, that he was amazingly talented and that I had to hear him. It wasn't until about a year later that I finally went to one of John's shows.

That would be John Allred from the band "Allred" I instantly fell in love with John's music, his voice was unlike any voice I had heard before in my life. His music quickly became the only thing that would come out of my car speakers, for months and months. He just sings. It flows out of him as if it comes straight from his veins. I was shocked by his ability to sound so clear. I was shocked how you could listen to his music and be nearly brought to tears (I have been before...shhh.) being over come by the raw emotion he puts into his lyrics, tunes, everything. Since then John has become one of our very close friends. He played at our wedding, and gave us beautiful music to eat dinner and just to fill the air. We will never be able to repay him and we are so grateful. We had John over for dinner tonight! It was so good to see him. I have never met someone so humble and honest and caring, who has such great success in his life. He has accomplished so many of his hopes and dreams. In Utah John is somewhat of a local celebrity ( I don't want to embarrass him, if he happens to read this). There are crowds of girls at his shows, later posting to his facebook page the pictures they are so thrilled to get together... which are likely then plastered to their bedroom walls later that evening. He also has a huge fan base of other then 12 year old girls. There is not a person I have met in Utah especially in the Provo area who has not heard of him. He is on youtube, he has a t shirts, he is a big deal. It is so inspiring to me personally John's outlook on the world. He is just a genuine good man. He doens't do this for fame or fortune he plays because it is what he loves to do. "it's how I breathe." (-John Allred) my biggest wish at times I have is that everyone who packs themselves shoulder to shoulder in the venues that he plays could know him, the way we know him. My husband and I absolutely love john's music. But more importantly we love John. His heart is so big and his spirit is so sweet. He is such a meek and simple person who honestly just wants people to hear what a miricle music is. I am honored to say we know a great guy like John!

If you have not heard of him look him up, I highly doubt that you will regret it and if anything it may be best thing you have done all month. He opened up for mae just the other night.

WE LOVE YOU JOHN!

When it comes to you we have an open door policy. And no, I won't make you sing. Although I do thank you for doing so this evening. The songs were so lovely, and I had to hold back tears.

Thanks so much for being our friend, our example, our inspiration.

goodbye, goodnight.

2010-11-07T00:35:00.000-06:00

Here's the story about the most amazing band of all time.

mae.

If you have not listened to their beautiful music I suggest you head to the itunes store, if you can't afford to download every single song they have ever made.. call me. It's on me. That's how much I want everyone to know about mae and their amazingly beautiful music. I was introduced to mae in 2007 when Tanner and I first started dating. He took me to a show for our third date. I fell in love. It was different from any music I had ever heard. Last night we went to their last and final show ever in Salt Lake. They are currently on their last tour, and it was by far the most incredibile show I have ever been to. I am so sad they are done bringing wonderful sounds to my life but I will love them forever.

mae forever.

love will find a way to bloom.

ummm... YUM!

2010-11-02T15:42:00.000-06:00

SWEET POTATO FRIES

(baked, healthy, delicious!)

Last night we went on a little dinner date with a family Tanner met while on his mission. They are young, only about 5 or 6 years older then us and we were super excited! He hadn't seen them in over three years. We drove down to Provo where they live and went to my FAVE restaurant! GURU's!

I freaking love that place. It's healthy food, that is absolutely so delicious. When I lived in provo my good friend and old roommate worked there and I would go there to stalk her... and devour the incredible food. Anywho- Guru's has AMAZING sweet potato fries, but i'm pretty sure they are not good for you by any means. At least, I can't imagine how they could be seeing as their taste is out of this world. Not to mention fri sauce, Utah has done some bad things to my body ;) As most of you know i'm a health nut, so today when I was browsing Martha Stewart to get come fun DIY projects to do for the upcoming holiday season I found this recipe.

I can't wait!

DANIELLE MCLEAN PHOTOGRPAHY

2010-11-01T21:37:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving specials starting now!!!!!

Cheap and disks for you to keep! Trying to build my new my portfolio so prices are low!!!

spoon bracelets. i want.

2010-10-31T13:58:00.001-06:00

I am obsessed.
I think I'm buy myself one for my birthday ha ha, love them with me... wont you?

to buy this bracelet

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

2010-10-29T16:14:00.004-06:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

LOVE,

Mr. & Mrs. Skellington

Macbook photo's are not exactly flattering.

Not to mention that line drawn on my neck makes it look like I have a huge double chin (I don't)

ha ha .. we need a camera!

So, we decided to go to a Halloween party in Salt Lake with our friend Jake.

He's a single guy. Everyone he brought with him was single. We are married, i'm not saying that being married makes us better or different from anyone else however in this situation we felt so completely out of place. We thought, it's halloween. We don't have ANY couple friends so may as well go with Jake and his buddies. SO! we get to the party and it's all single people (duh!) and as soon as we got there Jake was gone searching for a girl (as most guys would at a halloween party if their single) and we're standing there dancing alone. After about an hour of feeling super awkward we decided ehh maybe this isn't for us. We got all dressed up and didn't even get a single picture other then these :(

I'm so sad.

Anyway, we are over it and we missed Mincey anyway ha ha.

Tonight, is saturday night and in Utah apparently trick-or-treating was supposed to go on tonight in stead of tomorrow. I think that's wonderful! LDS or not we should still remember sunday as a day of the Lord. Anyway, early this morning Tanner woke up and ran to the store to get some candy for our little beggars (assuming since we have so many kids in our complex there would be tons of trick-or-treating) The doorbell rings around 6:30 it has just gotten dark! A little boy decked out as a samurai! Double swords strapped on his back and everything! I gave him one kitkat because our small bag cost us 5 dollars. That's insane! I felt like I should give him two or three but Tanner said one was enough since we had so little candy.

Well it turns out that little samurai was the ONLY trick-or-treater to ring our doorbell tonight.

I'm even more sad.

I wish I could go find that little guy and just dump the entire bag of kitkat's in his pillowcase. I feel so bad.

All in all our halloween was a bust.

How was yours?

bucket list

2010-10-29T16:02:00.000-06:00

Although not MY complete bucket list, I found this list on my friend's blog, and thought it would be fun to see how many of the things on it I have accomplished. I think I will add as I come up with things. and maybe one day if I'm blessed enough I will have done everything I have ever wanted!

(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
(X) Get married!(X) Watched someone die
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
( ) Have a baby, or two or three or five(X) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Tour Europe(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
(X) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
(X) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
(X) Driven across the United States (does the 30-hour drive from Michigan to Utah count?)
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving {who doesn't have this on their bucket list???}
(X) Gone snowmobiling
(X) Gone jetskiing
( ) Lived in more than one country
(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
(X) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
(X) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(X) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
( ) Been to Disneyland
(X) Been to Disney World
(X) Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Been in a rain forest
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China - some day!
(X) Walked on fire - like "jumped" over the fire...?
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
(X) Been water-skiing/wakeboarding
(X) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to the Louvre - I totally have!!!
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game
(X) Been to a National Football League game
(X) Been to a National Soccer (football) game

I think i'm crazy

2010-10-27T22:26:00.000-06:00

Everyone is pregnant!
and by everyone, I mean literally every girl my our here either is pregnant, has a baby OR is pregnant with their second! It kills me. I have wanted to grow up, get married, and have a baby since I was 8 years old. I know.. I'm crazy. I don't know why but it's just always been me. My mom and Dad always thought I was so funny because of it. I mean, every little girl loves to play with baby dolls and baby sit but not stuff her shirt with pillows. I am not normal. My baby obsession has only grown worse in moving to Utah where babies flow like not other place and every cute little mormon girl is expecting. I am not a cute little expectant mormon girl. I want to be. but shhhh don't tell my husband. He tells me ALL the time, you do want a baby. I knew it. You say you don't so I don't feel rushed but you do. Danielle, we just got married! He can't wait to have little ones, and he is going to make such a wonderful Dad. But we were married in May. That would make us just celebrating 5 wonderful months of marriage

He's right!
I'm crazy.

I just can't help it. The adorable look of a pregnant belly on a pretty little frame is just so appealing to me. I don't really think about the up all nights, never sleeping again, and constant care. I take that back, I do but I don't really care! I am just so mommy status hungry. I will admit it. This isn't saying I can't wait, or even that I have a problem with waiting. Tanner is right, we just got married and once that little one comes it's never just us again. Waiting is good, and waiting is something we do want to do. I would like to try in about a year from now. Around our year and a half mark of being married. We decided on that when we got married, but I have a feeling it will change to two years. eeeek. I am not sure my lack of ability to share my opinion and need to get what I want will do well with two years. Let us pray. I also hope that as we grow together as a couple and as we listen to the Lord and what he has in store for our family that he will help us to know the correct time. By us, I mean both of us. I think that as we become better in our lives we will also be ready sooner for a family. I hope. I AM CRAZY!

I just hope that one day I will be the amazing mom I dream myself up to be. For now, I get to be great mommy to this little girl.

Doing that alone for the last 6 days has brought me so much Joy.

So all you girls with babies, preggers, or thinking about it. Tell me how you feel? Did you feel like this too? Do you feel like this now? At least help me to feel like I'm not alone.
Love you guys!

since it snowed today...

2010-10-27T03:04:00.000-06:00

I thought the absolute best thing I could post about today was that it did in fact SNOW several times, throughout the afternoon and evening. As of now, our entire tennis court is covered in white diamonds sparkling in all their powdery glory. Alas, the beauty of Utah has returned. I am from Michigan. I am no stranger to snow. I grew up cursing snow. Loathing it, to be quite honest. I hated the cold, it is so much worse when you live in 80% humidity. I promise. Ask any missionary who served in Detroit aka my husband and he (or she) will tell you that MI snow is in no way comparable to UT snow. It's wet, the air is wet. It's almost as if your bones are literally frozen inside your body! I know, exciting right! Not to mention the volume of the snow itself, just take my word for it.

Growing up in this climate we were on the constant search to find apparel that somehow kept us dry, and warm. North Face Jackets still reign supreme in the mitten, often accompanied by a trusty hoodie underneath. Most likely from your collection you acquired throughout college, or if you're feeing really nostalgic your Van Hoosen Middle School track hoodie (we all loved them, and only tried out for the team to get one. cool!) Another popular choice was The Birkinstock Clog. Yes, I said clog. Yes, as in the shoe with no back. and YES we did wear them all year round but mostly in the winter. Help me make sense of that? So you walk out of your house in the morning to brush the two feet of snow off the top of your car and windshield, that is covering the inch thick layer of ice which could only be broken by smacking it with your ice scraper... wearing a pair of shoes with no back? We sure were smart! I remember days of walking into school with my heels absolutely frozen, and my socks soaking wet. Those were the days. Then a miracle happened. UGG boots! I at first thought they were hideous, and chose to stick with my backless option, but as they grew more popular at school and among all ages I began to like them. Suddenly I found myself in love with UGGS! I went and bought two pairs! A normal sandstone tall classic, and a sundance II. One even had rubber soles. NO MORE FROSTBITE! Since then [2005] UGGS have come a long way! So now to the purpose of this post...

Glory Glory Alleluia, the clouds open and beauty was poured out upon us. Well at least in my opinion.
Ladies and Gentleman, the new line by:

Eat your heart out ♥

I know!

It's going to be a merry christmas this year everyone,

these puppies sell for a cool $600 a pair!

Not to worry,

our money tree had quite the flourishing harvest this year.

A girl can dream!

obsessed.

2010-10-24T14:57:00.000-06:00

Introducing.......

2010-10-22T22:52:00.002-06:00

Mincey Mae McLean

She's ours!

We went today and got out little baby Mincey!

We are so excited we can hardly stand it,

she is so cute we are in tears most of the time.

She is so cuddly and so sweet. She wines until I pick her up,

and stands next to my feet if I am doing anything that requires me to use both my hands.

We brought her home just earlier today and she has already used her litter box! The first time, I set her in it and she went :)

We had it sitting in the living room at first so she could find it easier, then once she was in I moved it to the laundry room. I set her in there later to see if she had to go again, and she peed! (TMI? sorry) Then about an hour later, I was cooking and I see her walk past my legs into the laundry room to go into her litter box all by herself! Is she perfect?

Yes. She loves little cat naps. She has taken 5 since we got home!

I will continue to update on our little bundle of joy, but i'm assuming you want pictures.. so were you go! Hooray for baby girl McLean!

Getting used to Mom

Getting used to Dad

I love my new comfy spots!

Hanging out with Dad!

Getting my tired eyes on, ready for a cat nap

Gettin' some dinner, Mom and Dad wouldn't let me

eat their Cafe Rio so I went for these!

Hey everyone,

It's me Mincey!

I'm really excited to be in my new home

with my new mom and dad.

They are amazing parents,

they even got me yummy chicken and rice food,

that is moist and smells and tastes great!

Mom gave me some Milk,

and let me lick her Cafe Rio lettuce,

I really like tomatillo.

I love my new home

and I can't wait to be friends with all of you!

Thanks for meeting me :)

I hope I can see you soon!

Love,

Mincey Mae McLean

little love story, aka humiliating confession.

2010-10-22T02:29:00.001-06:00

I was just browsing a friends blog.
He is maybe one of the most comical individuals I have ever met. Not to mention bold, and blunt. That's what I like about him! I absolutely love the way he speaks. Yes Jared, I'm talking about you. I worked with Jared when I served at Cheesecake Factory and we he has always been a great friend to me. One of my favorite parts about being friends with Jared is his advice, or more the way he puts his advice. The way the guy can string words together is absolutely flawless. It's a talent, I admire him.

Anyway-
my confession.

I'm not the brightest bulb.
I'll say it.
it's no secret...
I'm artistic, yes.
Intelligent, debatable. Very very debatable.

While reading Jared's blog just moments ago, I came across a list of reasons to believe you're old. At the bottom it says something about being undoubtably lactose intolerant.
Now the embarrassing part......

I literally just after reading that learned that ...that.. is the way the term is said.
I honestly and truly thought the term was.... lactose and tolerant.

OH. MY. GOSH.
why oh why did the Lord bless me with absolutely no form of common sense?
I mean, what good is being able to decorate for a party, if you serve people Milk that will make them sick?!
Who cares if I can take a good picture, I don't even know how to speak english?
COME ON!

finally!

2010-10-22T01:43:00.001-06:00

We're going to the humane society tomorrow.....

TO PICK OUT A KITTEN!!!!!!!!

I have always wanted a kitten, growing up I wanted one so so bad but my sister was super allergic, sneezed, itches, hives the works, so we were never allowed. Once I found one and snuck it into the house, and let it sleep in bed with me. I hid it in my closet when I went to school...dad found it after Amanda started swelling up all over the place. End of Danielle's happy days.

Tanner and I believe it's time to expand the McLean family!
We were on a bike ride just the other day and I saw some puppies for sale outside target. I quickly fall madly in love with a little black lab (there was a whole litter,but one little girl just snuggled up into my chest)but sadly, our little one bedroom isn't big enough for her to roam around. I would have taken that puppy home right then and there if we could have. Tanner and I were both pretty sad about it, she was honestly such a cuddler. So over the last couple days we decided we can get a kitten. Much smaller and much less to do with a cat.

I can't wait to go tomorrow and pick out our little bundle of joy. I hope we get a girl. I hope we can take her home!
What is a good name for a baby girl kitty?
I will post pictures as soon as we get her.
It's going to be a her.
it's gotta be!

oh man we're excited!

Also, a huge congratulations goes out to Ryan and Kelsey Wells!!!
They were sealed today for time and all eternity! I love you guys! Thanks for having us be a part of your special day!

How's that for a little love story ♥

to do's+

2010-10-17T23:56:00.000-06:00

THE MCLEAN TO DO LIST FOR FALL & WINTER 2010

-Go to a Utah game
-Stay up at Solitude after a great day of riding brighton with my hubby :)
-build a snowman
-go to that snow tube place in PC
-actually attend sundance
-save money
-cook
-have a bonfire in the canyon
-cook foil dinners!
-take more pictures (time is going by too fast not to capture every moment!)
-buy more beanies and cute cloths. leggins. boots. tunics. dresses.

well, that not too big but I will add to it!

Yea, and from that time even until now, I have labored without ceasing

2010-10-17T03:47:00.002-06:00

"Yea, and from that time even until now, I have labored without ceasing, that I might bring souls unto repentance; that I might bring them to taste of the exceeding joy of which I did taste; that they might also be born of God, and be filled with the Holy Ghost. Yea, and now behold, O my son, the Lord doth give me exceedingly great joy in the fruit of my labors; For because of the word which he has imparted unto me, behold, many have been born of God, and have tasted as I have tasted, and have seen eye to eye as I have seen; therefore they do know of these things of which I have spoken, as I do know; and the knowledge which I have is of God." - Alma 36:24-26

Before I begin this post I will say that I normally would never post something so personal as this on a blog, I do consider this blog to be a journal type outlet however the most personal and touching moments I have in my life I keep for my hand written journals. I felt however that maybe, this post would come to someones eyes and perhaps help them in a time of need. It is my prayers that this be the case.

Written October 10th, 2010: (apologize in advance for the spelling errors and terrible grammer. I hopped on word and wrote it as fast as my fingers could type so as not to forget a single detail. I think leaving it that way may show the urgency of the words.)
Tanner and I were just reading scriptures for the night. He asked me to pick out a chapter and immediately I was drawn to Alma 36. I wasn't sure why, but I just went with it as usual and thought I love this chapter, maybe that's why. It is also the chapter I have read most in the Book of Mormon, I thought that might also be a reason. I told tanner I was going to read the entire chapter. That was also odd because usually we take turns reading one after the other, one row at a time. This time I felt I wanted to read the whole thing. it was a short chapter and again I love it so much that I thought I may as well. I was reading along and just going about the chapter reading and enjoying the words when all the sudden I came upon the versus above. Immediately my eyes were filled with tears and the spirit came over me in a way that I don't know if I have ever felt before. It was so overwhelming, and so absolutely undeniable. I could not explain it with earthly words if I tried. I started weeping, it was something I could not stop. I wasn't sad. I was happy but also felt sorry for the laziness in which I have had lately as to my "activity" in the church. It says that as I have labored without ceasing to bring souls to the truth, to help them feel what I have felt, see what I have seen..and because of my efforts many have been born of God.I realized that right then the Lord was answering my prayers or maybe my confusions that I had felt in the months past. Questioning the church or more so my position in it. Telling me if you labor without ceasing you will accomplish a great work for me. The one I have intended for you in bringing you to this place. This earth. I realize in the last verse it says many have been born of God. Tanner and I will have children and they will taste of what I teste and their children will and theirs after that and now souls will the brought unto the Lord , that maybe if i have stopped or if i have quit or if i had just not allowed myself to listen to the spirit in the first place would have gone without knowledge of the Lord. That verse is me. That is my mission in this world. I felt as if the Lord was telling me Danielle if you don't give up, if you keep following the feelings you felt during this past conference THIS EXACTLY is what will happen and it will all be thanks to you. How can that be! How could this have happened. It was from the very start this evening that the Lord wanted me to know this. From the second that i opened up the scriptures to read them. Chose the chapter so easily and decided to read it out loud to tanner myself. I am grateful for the Lord. I am grateful for the moments I have to build my testimony. I will not forget this. This moment will ring in my mind for the years to come and I can not thank our Lord God enough for this and the strength he has blessed me with. Thank you dear Lord. I love thee and will stand firm in thy works forever.

I wrote this immediately that night, and since that moment my world has been changed. I should say rather my heart has been truly changed. In the pas three years life for me has been hard. It is a very hard thing to nourish a testimony when you don't have parents that set an example for you, of what you want to be life. When you don't have family around you. When you don't have friends, good friends, best friends that have been there since you were all little kids... who believe what you believe. Or for that matter support what you believe. Not that my friends don't support me in my decision, but they do not believe what I do. Which, is fine. I have no room to gripe and to say poor me. I am very blessed and have constantly been reassured by our Heavenly Father through the past three years since I decided to be baptized that he has a plan for me. I have been blessed I believe with very strong faith. If nothing else, no knowledge or depth of the Gospel, somehow I have faith.

After getting married, I felt like life would now be an easy ride. I was sealed in the temple, I followed the Lord to the utmost of my ability here on this earth the rest would be a cake walk. I was wrong. The thing about Satan is once he is done trying to devieve you in the best way he can think of, once that way is no longer of any use to him (I'm sure all you girls can understand what way he would try to destroy a single women in a very serious relationship) He will come at you from a different angle. I whole other world almost. I place where you never thought he would be able to creep in. And suprisingly enoguh that angel may be more powerful and be able to destroy you faster and easier then the one he used before! At the realization of that isn't he just the happiest camper you have ever seen? I say to you all that he is. Life after marriage is harder then life before. Satan understands that you have now formed an eternal family. What does he want to destroy the most? The Family. In my case he zero'd in on me. I all the sudden found myself thinking....

(frantic)

I don't know what I'm doing here.. with this.. do I really need all of this business? If this really for me. I feel so much better at work, with all my non member friends. I feel much better doing as I please, saying whatever I want when I want to. Watching what I want and listening to what I want. Is that because it makes me feel more at home, like I was living in Michigan again? I sure do miss Michigan. I wish I could go back there sometimes. If I never did this I would still be there, where I fit. I am married, to a wonderful man. I am sealed forever. But I miss my home. Maybe I can have both. can I? Would Tanner stick around? I can't do that. This is what you want, you belong here. No you don't, you're no good to anyone here or to the Lord. Why is the Lord even allowing me to have thoughts like these? Is he? Is he telling me I have made a mistake? What are you doing Danielle, where are you headed, what are you thinking.

Satan.
Is.
The.
Father.
Of.
All.
Lies.

And alas,
a wonderful think happened. General Conference. It was Saturday morning session. I was laying in bed with my dear, sweet, amazing and perfect husband when (i'm not sure who said it, sadly. That is how much I really didn't care at the time) spoke about how his grandmother used to have to get wood to replace on the wood burning stove. How he would let her go out into the bitter cold and get it and never offered to get it for her. How he wishes every day that could tell his grandmother he was sorry. In that moment I started to sob. I was again blessed by our amazing heavenly father (this occurred before the paragraph above happened) My heart was softened. I was ready for the spirit of the Lord to heal me, and to ask my Heavenly Father for forgiveness. I can't explain what has taken place in my soul the past few weeks but it is a miracle. I can never be thankful enough, and I only pray when the time comes I will be able to tell our God that myself.

My dear friends,
I know better then anyone how hard life is. How it feels at times that you just can't anymore. Or how you feel like if you ever dare to share the feelings you're having you will be judged, looked down upon or reprimanded, because we are supposed to be perfect. We're not. We are not asked to be! There is always one person you can tell everything that weighs on your heart too. He wont judge you, he won't get upset. Only stretch out his loving arm to guide you. How blessed and lucky are we. We are only asked to try everyday to strive to obtain the light of Christ and to live as he did. In my opinion that means to love ALL people the same, to show them the charity of our Lord, to express love to our fellow children of God and not only to others but to ourselves. To attend the temple, so we can learn and our eyes can be opened to the miracles of the Lord. To do service so we can be in service of our God. You have no idea how much happiness you will gain if you just simply "let go, and let God." It is my sincere prayer that this in some way helped someone or at some point will.
You are not alone.

I have THE most exciting news.......

2010-10-16T13:00:00.004-06:00

I have the most exciting news......

THE most exciting!

these two....

5 years later

Brooke catches my bouquet!

Aug 2010

are ENGAGED!!!!!!!!

October 16th 2010

Now, most of you don't know them, however this is one of my best friends from back home in Michigan! We have been friends since 6th grade. Ahhh I'm so excited I have to try and contain myself to write this post!

So, Brooke and Jeff.

Brooke and Jeff met our freshman year of college (05-06) up at Michigan State University, and have literally been winning cutest couple award since. Brooke was NEVER considered the type to settle down, she was the biggest little flirt ever but when her and Jeff met it was just a match made in heaven. Honestly, they are perfect for each other. So five years have gone by and now these lovies are tying the knot!

I am so so happy for you guys! I love you so much!

Jdiddy, we're so glad you're here to stay. Bsev loves you!

It's so exciting for me when my friends I know that aren't LDS get married. It makes me feel like i'm not so different from them. And it makes me feel so exciting that someone else is going to experience the amazing blessing of marriage! It's so fun now that we're all older and graduated and found our perfect fit. All of my friends are in serious relationships (remember none of them are LDS) and they are all on the approach of getting engaged. They all know they want to, it's just when will it happen for them! Can't all happen at once, although that would be the funnest thing in the world!

I am so so happy for every one of them. They are all such amazing girls who have found amazing guys to treat them so well. And not to mention, we have ALL... guys included.. known each other since we were kids. All the guys are a few years older then us but all of us graduated from the same high school at one point or another so that makes it real fun. (minus Jeff, and Jimmy) It's fun to have memories with your entire group of friends, and their boyfriends. Some of us.. were all friends before anyone started dating anyone. In Michigan that's not really that popular. People don't usually marry within the high school or even the town. Since we all go off to different places it's pretty rare actually for someone to get married that knew each other in high school.

Anyway,

To Jeff & Booke soon to be Roman....

I love you both, I am so happy that I am a part of your lives and I couldn't be happier for you guys. You deserve it and you are such amazing people. Love you guys and I can't wait to see you at xmas!!!!

Currently loving. Etsy+

2010-10-14T02:47:00.003-06:00

Etsy.
What a magical place.
Honestly, it is the most inspired idea I have ever heard in my life. Not to mention the most exciting website to look at ALL DAY LONG. I think I could buy more things off Etsy then any other website in the world. Considering they literally have EVERYTHING on their you can imagine, it's not hard to say. But it is just the most wonderful thing. For those of you who don't know what etsy is, allow me. Etsy is pretty much an online farmers marker or flea marker. Filled with pages upon pages of the most beautiful hand crafted goodies. From everything to wedding dresses, to vintage refurbished finds. I can't explain how much I love it. I have been browsing lately and ordered a couple bracelets just yesterday. I just wanted to share a itsy bit of etsy adoration.

The most darling baby spoon bracelet.

My friend Jenna has worn a spoon bracelet forever years and I think it's just the cutest accessory. She is cute as a button, and so is her left wrist. This bracelet inspired me. I may just have to get one.

want one!

A delicate bib necklace

How's that black crew neck in your closet looking?

It would look a lot better with this beauty draping over top. I know.

go on, you deserve it!

a fashionista forward black/white skirt

speaking of that black T,

thinking pairing them all together here would be quite the friday date night outfit. perhaps with a black blazer :) to each their own, but i'm in love!

friday=funday

decorate with feeling.

If you know me at all,

you know i'm a sucker for anything & everything art.

This is an absolutely beautiful print, i would give anything to place it in the perfect spot upon our walls.

if you love this...

OH MY GOSH.

believe it or not, my mom had one of these hanging in our kitchen growing up.

When we moved, I never saw it again. Perhaps my dad finally got his way and refused my mother when she asked to hang it again in our NEW kitchen.

Either way, when I was a kid I was mildly obsessed with this phone. I stood on a stool in our kitchen for hours pretending to make phone calls. The only thing that was better about ours was it was an actual antique, therefor it had a rotary dial. You know, stick your finger in the number hole and pull it round to dial? if it's not ringing a bell (no pun intended) I highly suggest you go find one, and play. Really fun!

please, do.

Ouuuu....

I have a thing for birds.

Not sure when, or why it came. But it's here to stay.

you like?

since i'm starting to be a real wife, now.

Ouuu!

I think these are adorable, and....they're blank!

We all need a good cook book, but I find those little note card recipe boxes to take up space, and I never know where to put it. This is such a cute alternative, and can be handed down generation to generation, to continually be filled in.

what's cookin' good lookin'

Oh no coco.

absolutely to die,

can you tell why?

So, they may not be your typical shape you're seeing celebrites daunt now a days,

however the fact that they are vintage Chanel riding boots, overrides their awkwardness in my opinion. I would strap these on with a pair of skinny jeans any day.

i'd rather be wearing chanel

Messenger bag.

pretty pretty

Change purse+

so so cute!

again, my obsession with birds.

But how adorable is this to pinch your pennies in?!

via

Antique blue french provincial buffet.

How beautiful to serve your thanksgiving dinner upon.

If my one bedroom apartment had room, i'd have it shipped here immediately.

too bad, so sad.

But, I bet some of you can squeeze it in!

via

Not you're mom's belt.

but maybe your grandmas!

Gorgeous, and truly vintage.

have you ever been so excited to wear grannies left overs?!

via

and lastly...

I do love these. They're old, and exciting!

hey sister

Enjoy :)

2010-10-12T02:43:00.001-06:00

......... "I love to see the temple" ........

have I stumbled upon the mecca of beautiful?

2010-10-12T02:41:00.002-06:00

I am obsessed. When I say obsessed, I mean head over heels in love with interior design. It's new, but it's come with fire blazing behind it and I have a feeling it's not going anywhere. Well much to my surprise my sudden interest in this glorious form of art has caused me to become mildly obsessed with turning our 1 bedroom 650 square foot apartment into a decadent palace. Money, has gone away without surety of where it's been spent, time has been directed, but most of all our apartment is finally coming together. I have looked at blog after blog and site after site, searching for my perfect who's it's and whats it's and have had much luck. But, I have become picky. I don't want to buy anything that I don't absolutely adore. I don't want to get it home, and put it all together and think... wow this looks a mess. I want to make sure I buy things that compliment each other and warm the space, make you want to sit in it and.. look around :)

So after our midnight snack.....

I hit the sites for a bit before I fell into slumber.

Dear friends, have I stumbled upon the mecca of beautiful?

well, decide for yourselves.. and what better news then a sale!

I'm in love.

They are a bit pricy but too beautiful to pass up.

For now, our little apartment can only hold so much, but one day when I have my dream home.. or.. starter home ;)

I will be heading straight for the gateway to beautify my space!

Happy Hunting lovies!!!

roomie bear

2010-10-10T19:23:00.001-06:00

TAWNI MARAE JONES

she will always be my roomie bear, my tawni bear, my tawn dogg.

my life :)

(my first BYU game)

(Hiking the Y)

(Dan got mouth surgery)

(halloween at BYU)

(my first FHE)

(Block Party with the guys)

(wondering around like always)

(hike to the Y)

(halloween, Dani + Toni = hilarious)

(and best friend coming with me to do baptisms for the very first time)

To Tawni Jones-

I miss you! I am so glad the Lord blessed me with you as a roommate.

He knew what he was doing when he sent me to Jefferson 17 and I will never forget how lucky I am to have been put with you. Sharing a room with you are some of the funnest memories I have here in Utah. We are always going to be best friends, you will always be a part of my life. Why? Because you were brought into it for a reason. I love you!

Come play!

(rain)spired

2010-10-08T01:08:00.001-06:00

I think I may be one of the few people in the world who actually LOVES the rain. Not just loves, but truly and utterly adores. I grew up in Michigan, it rains. A lot. Not as much as Washington, or Oregon but I would say we get quite a good bit of rain over there. Growing up there I hated the rain, now being here I of course love it. Now unfortunately in Utah we don't get all that much of it, but we DO get a boatload of snow! This makes boot weather a month after month long tradition, which I love. I love a good pair of skinny's tucked into a beautiful pair of boots. I think it is so slimming and classy.

My obsession as of late....

Rain boots:

Target this year is really pulling through for us ladies. They have the most adorable collection of rain boots however, you have to look in online :)

And my personal favorite......

I mean, can you say glorious!

What is more fun then prancing around in the rain?

Pick me pick me....

prancing around in the rain wearing boots so darling that passerby's want to snap pictures of you to frame and hang on their walls.

Enjoy!

Caio Bella

our little nest.. decorating coming along finally..

2010-10-07T13:20:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the home of Tanner & Danielle McLean

our little fireplace and the shelf "mantle" from (IKEA) Tanner & Rich put up for me.

I love it!

Our TV stand (IKEA) and the cutest movie basket from target!

Bamboo from ikea too!

Our couch (KSL) another self from (IKEA)

and our gorgeous pillows from (BB&B)

side shot of the wall and the couch

Wallflowers

This is my favorite part of our house, so far...

Candles and candle holders my mother in law got for me,

from Hobby Lobby.. LOVE that place!

and of course,

husband being wonderful husband.

Tanner is so thoughtful, he always has flowers and notes waiting for me when I get home from work.

I swear he does this at least once a week, sometimes more then once on the notes. what a sweet boy I married.......... for eternity!!!!

baby ibex's

they play.. and they butt heads to show love.

it's one of those "couple things", like baby talk or nose rubbing

.....you know you ALL have them with your husband

General Conference

2010-10-03T16:12:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was the start of general conference.

Where I get to hear from these wonderful men.

And these..

And many many more, amazingly inspiring people.

My favorite weekends of the year! I absolutely love that we are fortunate enough to hear the prophets speak, and other influential members in our wonderful church. I feel this conference has done more for me then any other. I have felt as of late that I have become like those whom in Lehi's vision of the tree of life, partook of the fruit, and then felt ashamed. Have any of you ever felt that you have come to this place? I live in a world and spend most of my time in a world where being LDS is something that at one time was part of my friends life, but as soon as they were able to make the decision for themselves they chose otherwise. Now, I do not judge those who do choose this decision. I love them just the same and see them for the wonderful people that they are. I enjoy them and the time I spend with them. They do bring happiness to my life, but unfortunately I have allowed them as of late to bring more happiness to my life then I have allowed my Heavenly Father to do. I am not embarrassed to admit this, I hope that in doing so someone who is feeling the same way as I can identify this and if they so choose, take action to change. As I am going to do. At one time I was a strength to those around me. I had the utmost faith. I felt the power of the spirit around me most of my days, it was a glorious feeling. I am determine to have that feeling back. I hope that I can strive to be bright and overflowing with the spirit of the Lord in my countenance and all my soul, how amazing will it feel to not only have that wonderful blessing but also now being married the blessing of being able to attend the temple as much as I can with my amazing husband. I am blessed, and the Lord is good.

I am a Mormon. I wasn't before, but I am.
In July of 2007 I met these two..

Then, this happened!

Then I got to go here...

(General Conference, October 2007)

with these two lovies...

and take this unplanned timeless photo...

I know this sounds silly, but this is one of those photo's that when I am old and grey and wrinkled all over I will look at, and remember that first conference two months after I was baptized. I can still remember the feeling I had during these moments, and I greatly doubt that those memories will fade with time. I can't wait to continually learn for our wonderful leaders and to grow stronger in faith and knowledge. I love this weekend and have been undoubtably touched by the spirit of the Lord. I am overwhelmed with gratitude, and pray I can express that.

I love you all.

May the Lord bless your lives and bring joy and happiness to you :)

... Because I love this song.

2010-10-02T01:31:00.002-06:00

I love Eminem,
I love him. I know his lyrics are cude, i'm aware but I think he is one of the most lyrically talented individuals on earth. I love his song with Riannah. I hate Riannah. ( don't even know how to spell it)
I love this girl.
I love her talented, gorgeous voice.

Tell me you don't, and i'll call you a lier.